The Road Less Traveled

Since becoming jobless back in February 2011, my life definitely went down a road that most 20-something lives seem to take after graduating college. As I viewed my options, I was so unsure of what road to take. There was Road A: Which was to find a job here in Oklahoma City, doing something that related to my degree and getting paid a fair amount. Then Road B: Go back to working for my old company, just till something came along. Then there was Road C: Move back to Texas because all the doors in Oklahoma City are closing. Road C really looked like the best option at the end of June, but slowly started to realize that things weren't lining up down there in good ole Texas as I had hoped. So what do you do when all the Roads you choose don't feel right and there is this unsettled feeling that says to wait?! Well, you wait and while you wait you go to Whataburger at 11:30 pm on a Wednesday night after an Elevate service with a few close and very in-tune with God type of friends. 

That takes me to Road D, also known as "The Road Less Traveled."

As we were all sitting around eating some Honey Butter Chicken Biscuits and catching up on life, my dear friend Danielle decided to speak some hard truths into our lives. As she went around the table, I just listened and definitely agreed with what she was saying. But I was curious and anxious to find out what she had in store for me. So, my time came and all she said was, "I don't know what your deal is and what you are waiting for, but you need to figure it out." Of course I laughed and said, "Yes, that's so true" and then the topic of Africa came out of my mouth. Another good friend was taking a trip in August to South Africa to spend two weeks with an organization my church is a part of and then to eventually move down there a few months later. I spoke how I was so envious and wish I could do that. So naturally what the table of friends said, "...then why don't you?" 

I sat there with that question and something inside like a bright light was finally switched on. I tried to hide that light and spoke of  "That's the other end of the world!" But that didn't phase me at all. And then of course a huge question of, "What about my parents and who will take care of them?" Easily answered: Matthew 8:21-22 and Matthew 10:31-39 (look them up!) So of course I look them both up and read them a few times over and the same response keeps repeating, "No Father, I am worthy and I want to follow You, wherever that may take me." I was finally at peace and it felt so right in my heart and in my spirit to go be a part of what is happening in South Africa. 

For those of you reading this and wondering, "WHAT! Lori, come on, really Africa?!?" Come talk to me about it so I can just talk your ear off on how amazing God is and the work and light He is showing me. Or for those who may be wondering when I'm going and for how long...I have no idea! I'm still waiting on all those answers to be answered. I know that it won't be next month, but I have a feeling it will be very soon in 2012. I'm so excited for what God has up His sleeve and I really can't wait to finally be doing what He has prepared me to do. 

By the way... After realizing my cause and location, God opened the door for a job and then a few weeks later, opened a bigger door for another job. He is good and when we decide to dive in and say, "Yes God," He provides us with the location. Pretty cool! :) So say "Yes God" and wait for the what and where!

Post Grad

Well, as of last Wednesday at 4:40 pm I am officially done with college and school for at least a year. I've been in school since I was 5...that is 18 years! It is such a weird feeling and I have no idea what to do with myself right now. I watched the movie "Post Grad" a couple months ago and boy can I relate! I apply to places, hear nothing, and keep trying to figure out when the job I'm meant to be at will finally come along. I also feel like moving back to Texas with my parents and Grandma, but I know that is not the answer--just my way of not facing the hard times. All I know is that God has a plan and I have to keep reminding myself of that (at least every hour of every day). I think I am just anxious to finally get a job that I will love and have a lot of offer--whatever that may be. I'm ready for the next chapter of my life to begin and I'm ready to help people. Watch out world, here I come! :)


Until next time!

I'm Still Here

          Hello world! Wow, so lets just say since I was last on, a lot has happened. Definitely some clarity and some growth in my relationship with Christ. So..where to begin?! Since I last posted I guess! :)

          When I got back from Dallas, I was so pumped and ready to find a job. Of course I thought that part of life would come easy, but it didn't. Many weeks of dead ends and almost losing all hope, I turned to my small group at church and received so much wisdom. One friend was gracious enough to give me a ride to church and I was telling her about my frustrations and she made me listen to what I was actually saving. When planning my unemployment I made one mistake.. I PLANNED it. By now, you'd think I would know that its God's plan, not mine. And then later after small group another wise friend told me about the book of Matthew and how it would be good to read and dive into. And that we have to just wait and listen to God, we can't rush things because in time we will see His beautiful plan. As the week went on, it was worship night at Elevate (our college/career) service on Wednesday nights at 9 at Victory (you all should come!). Worship that night was so clarifying and I realized that I was holding back from God once again. I wasn't truly trusting Him with the job He was preparing for me. So after that night it all seemed to change. Thursday morning I decided to call this one contact one last time before moving on. She ended up calling me back 20 minutes later and told me to come in Monday so we could talk! I was so excited--finally a door! Later that afternoon I received a call from another friend who told me I needed to come apply for a job opening where she was at. So I did on Friday morning! I just couldn't believe it--2 doors in just a couple hours?! I was seeing God's plan starting to unfold. That following Monday I went and spoke with the woman and when I left I had 4 more job possibilities. I am stunned by this point! Of course when we really give Him everything, it all seems to work out!

          Well that's now all the exciting news that I have... this past weekend I attended by first (and definitely not last) Passion Conference in Ft. Worth, Texas. I went down there with a few of my small group members and it was such an amazing time getting to spend time with them and 10, 500+ other college-aged students from around the US and the world. As we were traveling down there early Friday afternoon, I had no idea what to expect. I still had no idea till the intro to the conference started. Worship was great the first night as well as Louie Giglio's sermon, but it didn't really hit me--I guess because I was just in a daze. After the service we went to our community groups and I was lucky enough to be in the BEST one--the RED group (shout out!) and then we split into family groups of 8. It was cool because we were all different ages and in different stages of college. Beginning, middle, finishing, grad-school, working/not working. It was awesome! So Saturday is really when it all hit me.
         Our time with our family group that morning and worship was so great and I was just stunned at everyone worshiping the one same God above. Our morning speaker was Francis Chan and wow how great is he! It was awesome seeing a man so in love and in tune with God. What he said really started to sink in. What Louie had spoken about was how if we were to live another day, it would be great because we'd still be preaching the word of God, but if we were to die today--how much of a GAIN that would be. Francis backed this thought up and really made me understand it. I guess that is an issue I've always had within myself. How could people be so excited about dying and going to Heaven? Look at how beautiful life is here on Earth. But I finally GOT it and realized that Heaven is going to be such an amazing place when we get there, that why would we want to stay here on Earth another day? It was such an eye-opening experience that when we started worshiping again, I couldn't help but cry and thank Him for all that He has blessed me with in my short little span of life so far. Later that night we all gathered again and worshiped and listened to John Piper and man did he bring it. He spoke on how God loves us and why He would do what He did for us. Then ending answer came out to be that our heart was MADE by God to love God. Man, He gave up His son for us. For us to live and breathe and to serve others for Him. Crazy when you think about it! Sunday was a big wrap up and I couldn't believe it was already time to go home. By the time we left, I felt like all 10,500+ of us were a family and our reunion was over for now. I just look back and remember all the great people that I met this past weekend and I thank God for bringing them into my life. I thought I was so in love with Christ, but its crazy because my love for Him grows more and more each day! Wow, oh wow! I'm excited for life and whatever may be ahead :)

Forgiveness

           So earlier tonight, I used good 'ole facebook to contact an old friend. The one I was talking about in an earlier post; the one I was wanting to reach out to, to say sorry. Since that post, little things have have been brought to my attention and knowledge by the wonderful hands of the man upstairs (God). In one of my daily devotionals the topic of the day was about grudges and the verse that was used was Proverbs 17:9. "Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends." On Sunday, God used the new pastor at my parent's church to also back up that day's devotional as well. What was holding me back? Nothing. Completely nothing. So today I decided I'd venture out and say sorry, and boy was I depending on God for his guidance on what to say. She ended up responding an hour or so later and it was a really positive response. What did I have to fear? All was forgiven between us both and that bridge has now started to be mended..and we are now facebook friends! :) I know all of that may sound silly to you all reading this, but honestly I love people so much, so why should I have a grudge from high school about something that really did not include me at all?! The only person I can thank and give credit to for this is my love, God. He has so much grace that He gives to us everyday freely, so why should we not forgive and seek forgiveness from people that may have hurt us in the past? I'm happy and blessed beyond words. 

          These days spent at home so far have been great. I've been counting down the days till I will be back in OKC and I am really wanting them to slow down. I enjoy being home with my parents and seeing friends, but the days just go by so fast. I've also been looking for jobs back in OK, but I have no idea what I am looking for. Starting to get lost, but at the same time, I'm not worried. I know that God's plan for me is going to be something great and I can't wait to find out what it will be. Okay, no joke I'm listening to music on my phone and a song by my church called, "No Greater Love," just came on and...whoa! Part of the lyrics went, "I can go to the East or West, travel through the galaxy, but wherever I may be, even there Your hand will guide me." Wow, powerful! Crazy, huh?! I'm in such awe of what God's plan for my life is. I know I'm going to be more than alright and I'm ready. 

          I'm so in love, it's crazy! Definitely time for bed and I know I am going to sleep so soundly tonight! :) My God is so, so great!!

Not sleeping, so let's blog it out!

          Well as the clock is about to hit 4 am, I am sitting here in my room, thinking. I am pretty sure that I think too much, if that is even possible. Have you ever thought about the choices you have made in life and where they have led you? For some reason that seems to be a reoccurring topic that has been going on in my mind the last few days. I keep thinking about high school and decisions I would like to go back and do over again. Mainly grades and friendships. Grades for the obvious reason, so I don't need to ponder on that one too much. I've decided to go back to Dallas for a week or so. I'm mainly going home to help clean and get rid of a bunch of old things and to see my parents. 

          As I think about going home, I really want to get in touch with some people who's friendships I really appreciated back then, but how do you say sorry after 7 years? This dilemma comes from the classic case of friends cheating with other friend's boyfriends and so on. Sadly this happened Sophomore or Junior year and it seems like it still comes around to remind me. Don't worry..I was the friend who had her friend's back when she found out about the cheating going on with another friend. This all leads to why I don't want to move back to Dallas. My friend's have their own lives and I feel like I will be the new kid. I miss my home and I miss that part of my life, but I'm so happy with my new life. My friends are amazing beyond words and even though I have no idea what I want to do for a job, I'm still content. Not saying that my friends back home aren't, but I'm just not that close with them anymore. 

          If we are called to love and to be loved, why is there so much hate in this country? It's so hard to see people talk down to complete strangers and to be rude for no reason. Can you imagine a world where we all said at least one nice thing to everyone we would come in contact with everyday? I just wish there was peace. Five little letters that spell such a simple word. I want to be a peace maker. Nothing radical or anything, but I just want to stand up for peace and to give it a chance for once. What if we all started speaking love and peace into our lives and into the lives we come in contact with on a daily basis? Do you think the world could slowly change? I think God is working on a peace plan, but that plan is us. 

          Wow, that was a lot and it was all over the place. My apologies readers =) Until next time!

What an amazing weekend!

          All I can really say is..God is amazing!! From Friday morning till right now, I have just been on cloud 9 the whole time. Friday was a gorgeous day and I didn't do a whole lot besides run errands and do a little bit of homework. Friday night I went out with some amazing girl friends of mine and we ate at Mame Rojas (so good!) and went to see Just Go With It (which is HILARIOUS). Saturday was my 8am to 5pm, 5 week class, which sounds awful, but it really isn't that bad. By the end of the class, I found out I currently have a 93 in there and that is seriously by the grace of God. I thought that since I missed a test one week due to some family things my grade was going to be no good, but God had it all under control. This information at 4:59pm set the stage for what about to happen later that night.

          Randi (my old roomie) and I decided to have a sleep over. Yes, we are both 23, but we still have sleepovers--so what! We ended up getting some dinner and renting a movie. As we sat there in her living room watching a movie that was on TV, we just started talking. It was so fun getting to just hang out with her again. As the movie ended on TV, we decided to finally watch the one we rented..well that didn't happen because we were still talking! As our conversation went on, our friendship became closer. I was able to talk to her about what God has been doing in my life these past few months. I have never been this happy and finally getting to talk to her about Christ was the icing on the cake. We talked till 2 in the morning and as we talked I realized that I have been missing her so much. It's weird how two amazing years can pass by in a flash. Last night we became not just old roommates, but best friends. I love having her in my life because she has always been there through a lot and we just have that natural bond. And she's also my Valentine tomorrow! Love you Rando!

          And I give all my thanks to God. He has brought some amazing people in my life and I am so blessed to have them. Everyone that I come into contact with has a huge impact on my life, even if it's just once. I still can't believe how much God loves us and how beautiful our lives are--even in the hard times. Tonight at church, as we sang during the worship time, all I could do was smile because I'm so in love with Christ and that my life couldn't be more amazing. I'm not saying my life is perfect, but I am saying that it's beautiful thanks to God. I hope everyone has a great week because I have a feeling it's going to be a good one! =) Until next time!

And so it begins!

Well hello out there fellow bloggers! So it's almost 2 am and I am finally getting around to writing in my blog, but there is one problem: I have no idea what to talk about. But..a wise friend did tell me that the point of a blog is to write whatever is on our mind. So here goes nothin!

          I have had a lot of free time lately, thanks to not having a job at the current moment and another big thank you to the snow these past two weeks. What have I been thinking about? Oh you know...life and all the little questions that come with it. For you all out there reading this: I go to an amazing church, have some awesome new friendships, and my relationship with God is really starting to grow. But yet I'm still so confused on where my path is leading. All I could and can really think about is the verse Jeremiah 29:11: ‎"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." I'm not worried about where my path is leading, I just want some type of direction. 

           I guess what my major question right now is do I stay here in Oklahoma or do I move back to Texas? My heart has really grown to love this city and the people here. Like I said before I just started going to a new church and I absolutely love it. I'm starting to get involved and I'm seeing God in a new, beautiful way. My best friend that now lives in Texas is trying to get me to move back to Dallas. Don't get me wrong--I miss my parents, my old friends, the sunsets, but I'm not sure if my life is there anymore. Plus I feel that if I move, my heart will be broken (like an 80's classic romantic-comedy movie heart break). I'm happy, but why am I so confused on what to do? For you that have decided to read this may or may not know that my Grandpa just passed away a little under a month ago. He was 92 and lived an amazing life that any granddaughter would be proud of. So with his passing, my Grams will be moving to Dallas to live with my parents which will then cause me to not have a room anymore. I'm totally fine with that, but I feel like it really won't be my home anymore. I'm 23, but I still feel 18 some of the time and it's finally hitting me that I'm growing up. College is over and now it's time to get a job. That's where I'm stuck! And all I keep asking myself is: "What do you want to do Lori Michelle?! You should know by now!" I know that whatever I want to do in life is help people, I feel that is my calling. And I have a degree in Psychology, so at least I have one good firm step in the right direction for wanting to help people. And I also know that whatever I do, I want to do for God.

          I've had a pretty good number of windows open the past few weeks, but I feel like I'm standing in concrete and I can't move. So I'm doing nothing besides praying and reading the Bible to gain some type of insight on what my next move should be. I feel a little bit lighter now bearing all this onto the Internet. For the whole world to read. Until next time dear friends.